


Something Old, Something New

by cORGISS



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Self-Reflection, Very short and kinda all over the place but, i had to get my thoughts out now that im finally over Molly’s death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23078329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cORGISS/pseuds/cORGISS
Summary: Caleb reflects on his regrets.Or, my thoughts about Mollymauk imposed onto Caleb.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Kudos: 47





	Something Old, Something New

There are so many things Caleb regrets.

His parents, first and foremost. Nothing he has done or ever will do can compare to the regret—the aching, spine chilling sense of emptiness that came from that night. Nothing even comes close. 

Still, there are many other things that he regrets. The way things had ended with Astrid. The way he had treated his friends when he’d first met them. The way he treated Beau, especially. He regrets that he hadn’t been able to save Mollymauk.

Gods, Mollymauk.

He hadn’t been with them for long, but for how short a time they’d known the tiefling, he’d left one hell of an impact. Caleb wishes he’d gotten to know the man better, before his untimely passing. Gotten to know more about who he wanted to be, and how he wanted to achieve it. Gotten to know more about the places Molly had seen, and gotten to know more about how he had left them better than when he found them. 

He’d be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t been interested in the tiefling. Maybe not quite in a romantic sense, but he wonders if it would have grown into such. He wonders how things might be different, had Molly never died. Oh, how he wonders.

“Caleb?”

He turns at the sound of his name, towards the drow who hovers not far from him. “Are you ready, love?” Essek holds his hand out for the human, offering a soft smile. 

Caleb smiles gently in turn, taking Essek’s hand in his own. “Yes,” he says, “my apologies. You know how the mind loves to wander on lazy days like these.”

Essek nods, humming quietly in thought. “Yes, I do. Something specific on your mind?”

Caleb thinks on this as the Shadowhand leads him out into the night air of the Dynasty, crisp and clear and the sky full of stars. He wonders what path he would be on—he and the rest of the Nien—if that lovely, obnoxious man hadn’t waltzed into their lives that day. He wonders how things would be different if he hadn’t left. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. He’s on the path he is on. Yet, he can’t help but to be grateful. 

Caleb laughs; a soft, wistful sound that surrounds the couple, dances in the night air about them. 

“Leave everything better, indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> When Molly died I was invested in him for a very personal reason. Afterwards, I couldn’t watch critical role for a long time because it just didn’t feel the same. But I finally got caught up, and seeing the way Molly’s presence is still noted some 70 episodes later is very touching to me.


End file.
